Puck's Version
by DianeJasmine
Summary: What would Puck's version of the first book of the Sister's Grimm be like? DISCONTINUED. However, first chapter now up as one-shot. Go read that, if you like.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I really, really, really want to own the Sister's Grimm. But, sadly, I don't. Fact of life. Sad fact of life. If you want to buy them for me for my birthday I would be so happy! Except then I wouldn't know what _really_ happens in the next book. And that would stink. How about you buy me the rights to Harry Potter instead!**

Chapter 1

"Puck!" He heard the old lady cry out, "Puck! In need to talk to you _liebling_!" Puck waited a few minutes, to show the old lady that _no one_ was the boss of the Trickster King, then he popped his wings out and flew around and behind her. She was going to get the scare of her life.

Relda Grimm was wearing a plain turquoise dress and her favorite fuzzy sunflower hat. Not that Puck cared that it was her favorite or anything. He just noticed, that's all.

Relda's wrinkled face was a mixed expression of cynical amusement and annoyance. She was watching the forest in front of her with her hands on her hips and her eyebrows raised, her foot slightly tapping the ground. She was waiting for him to come out.

Puck grinned; he was defiantly going to scare the living daylights out of her! _I hope she doesn't die when I scare her,_ he thought, _I wouldn't get anymore free food._ He started floating towards the old lady, trying to keep in his laughter, not completely succeeding. The old lady shook her head softly, in an exasperated way and shifted her weight. Puck was so intent on Relda that he almost didn't notice the tree. That is, he didn't notice the tree until he ran into it.

"OWWW!" He screamed. He figured his cover was blown so he decided to make this as dramatic as possible. "My eye! The tree has poked out my eye!" He drew his sword one handed and rushed at the tree, his other hand still covering his eye. He couldn't see and hit the tree again- on the other side.

This time, Puck staid down.

He peeked through his hands which were covering his eyes (both of which he insisted had been impaled by the tree) and saw the old lady looking down at him laughing.

"Are you alright _liebling_? That tree walloped you pretty hard." Puck turned away, insulted.

"I have no interest in dealing with people who mock me," he said in a lofty tone, "be gone."

Relda did the wise thing- she ignored him. She knelt down, pried his hands off his face and pronounced, "_Liebling_, you're fine." She held up a mirror and Puck, seeing no damage or blood, sat up and rubbed his newly 'healed' eyes. He looked at the old lady.

"So peasant, why have you called the Trickster King to counsel today? I trust it is a matter of utmost importance."

Relda laughed- seeming unfazed by his demeanor- she was used to it. "Puck, I have some news-"

Puck interrupted her. "You have _finally_ decided that I need a pay check for being so awesome? Thank you. I accept under the terms that I must do no work and will be payed at least $5,000 a day."

The old lady looked amused. "No Puck, that's not it. You see-"

Again she was interrupted by Puck, who appeared to have not even noticed the rejection. "You have decided to start a movie and wanted me to star? Again, I accept!"

Relda was looking a little annoyed now. "No _liebling_. And I am not going to start a museum in your honor either. You know how I have a son?" She looked to Puck for acknowledgment. He was looking a little deflated at not getting money, a movie or a museum but he nodded. "His name is- was- Henry and he and his wife- Veronica- were kidnapped two years ago." She got a little teary as she said that, as though she had not completely come to terms with it yet. She cleared her throat and again looked to Puck for verification to show that he understood. Again he nodded. She continued. "He had two daughters. My grand-daughters." Puck wondered where she was going with this. Soon he was gonna fall asleep. "While, they were put in the foster care system. And I- I- applied for custody." She looked at Puck to see his reaction. He looked bored. "And they granted me rights for them to come and live with me."

Puck sat bolt right up. He paid only a glancing thought to the old lady as she said that their names were Sabrina and Daphne, they were 11 and 7, etc. etc. His mind was still reeling in shock. Two girls? Coming to live _here_? Well, they weren't going to have an easy time of it. Not at his home.

And not on his watch.

**Author's Note:**

**Please review! But be nice, this is my first story. (cue slightly creepy background music) Press the magic blue button! Or your ancestors will come back to haunt you! WOOOOO!  
><strong>


	2. I discover how to change the title names

**Disclaimer: e-Thay erson-pay o-whay ote-wray is-thay oes-day ot-nay wn-oay e-Tthay isters-Say rimm-Gay. kay-Oay? (or-Fay ose-thay f-oay ou-yay at-thay on't-day peak-say ig-pay atin-lay, et-gay aay riend-fay o-tay ranslate-tay or-fay ou-yau.) Just Kidding. Though pig latin is awesome. I don't own The Sisters Grimm. Wish I did though. That would be fun. I take back the Harry Potter thing. I have decided I want the rights the the Immortals series by Tamora Pierce.**

Puck heard the car start up. And back fire. He flew the mile to the edge of the forest. (yes, the car was that loud). He saw the car reverse out of the driveway. Relda had just departed to get the **shudder** _girls_. They were stealing the old lady from him! Not that he cared about the old lady, of course. He just liked her sandwiches

He raced back to his throne and looked at the assembled minions. He began a speech. "We have an extreme violation on our hands minions! We are about to enter the biggest war we have ever in our lives. Except for that one with Moth." he paused, "And the one with my father. And the one..." He trailed off, "needless to say, we are about to enter one of the 17 1/2 greatest battles of our lives!" The minions tittered. "A battle over our home and the old lady. A one sided battle at the moment, but a battle nonetheless. It will be a battle of pranks! And. We! Will! Win!" He pumped his fist into the air at each word, forgetting the fact that he hadn't even _met_ the girls yet, or even seen them. He started plotting with his minions.

O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O

**(A/N: Has any one else noticed how hard O~o~O~o~O is to type?)**

Puck watched as the car pulled up into the drive way. He blew on his flute, to no response. He blew harder, and harder. Puck could hear a squealing noise coming out of the instrument but his minions didn't respond. Puck started to panic. What if his magic had stopped working? What if his minions had gone deaf? With out his flute, his prank against the girls wouldn't work! He started to panic.

Then the car turned off. A screech came out of the flute and the minions flew in confused circles until he stopped blowing on the flute. He coughed embarrassedly, and then started ordering the glowing lights around. They were to scout out the house until they sensed a weak point. Then they were to gain entry through that hole and sting the girls to death. Or at least until they were seriously injured and maimed. Or just extremely itchy.

The car doors opened and the girls, the old lady and the wolf piled on out. Well, the girls and old lady tumbled out. Canis got out stiffly, back erect.

Puck watched them. The youngest girl- Daphne- was bouncing around, exited and hyper. Every so often she would stick her palm in her mouth and bite down. Puck found this strange.

Daphne had dark brown hair tied up in pigtails and sparkling brown eyes. Her cheeks were very, very red. She was wearing a pink jacket. (**A/N: The Sisters Grimm doesn't really have a description of the two girls so I am making one up.)** Puck shuddered. This one was clearly a girly girl.

He turned his attention to the other one, Sabrina. She was pretty. She was a blond. He turned away, already hopeless. She would be a moron. But something made him turn back.

Sabrina was glancing around mistrustfully, fearfully, especially at the old lady, although she seemed like she was trying to hide it. Puck wondered why she was scared. And why she was trying to hide it. Maybe she wasn't as dumb as she looked.

He shrugged the thought off. Why would he even care what she thought? She was an icky girl and he had never even spoken a single word or insult to her. Sabrina was probably just another dumb blonde.

Puck kept on telling himself this as Sabrina turned and started to follow Relda and the little girl up to the house. _She is an idiot. An imbecile. Half-wit. Etc._

Then, Sabrina turned around and looked straight at Puck's hiding place in the bushes. He shrunk down, trying to avoid being seen. She stared for a little while longer, then continued walking after the old lady and Daphne, her lips mouthing the word '_paranoid_' to herself.

Puck let out the breath he had been holding. "Dumb blonde." He muttered to himself, not quite convinced, "ugly, dumb blonde." Puck was a terrible liar for a trickster king. He would have to work on that.

**A/N: review!**

**That said, I need to thank all those who reviewed. You are special. All four of you. Out of more than a hundred. And two of those don't count because they are my friends. Do I sound sarcastic to anyone but myself? Just kidding. Thank you to **The Queen of Valencia Torgue and GreenQueen615. **You guys rock! Also, thank you to those who favorite me or put me on alert. You guys are cool to!**

**Again, please review. **

**Bye, bye!**

**K**


	3. The Weak Spot

Disclaimer: 我沒有自己的姐妹格林, Jeg ejer ikke Sisters Grimm, मैं बहनों ग्रिम ही नहीं है, Аз не притежавате сестри Грим, Io non possiedo la Grimm Sisters, Nie jestem Siostry Grimm, ฉันไม่ได้เป็นเจ้าของกริมซิสเตอร์, Mwen pa pwòp Grimm a Sisters, Nid wyf yn berchen ar y Grimm Sisters, Je ne possède pas les Sœurs Grimm, איך טאָן ניט אייגן די סיסטערס גרים  
>Verstaan? Հասկանալ? Intindihin?理解？Зрозумів?Thuiscint?<p>

Chapter Three: Puck's POV 

An hour later...

Puck heard a muffled yelling coming from the house. It was Sabrina. (He couldn't picture the Old Lady yelling. Or the little girl, Daphne. Or for that matter, Canis. And Elvis couldn't talk.)

"WE'LL FIND IT OURSELVES!" Sabrina screamed. She had a pretty, confident, determined, voice. But right now it was filled with anger, sadness and fear. Not that he cared or anything. She was an icky girl with cooties who he HADN'T EVEN MET YET. And how could he tell all of her emotions from only five and a half words?

Seven seconds later, the sound of footsteps reached Puck's ears. Sabrina and Daphne were walking up the stairs. While, sort of. From the sound, Sabrina was stomping and Daphne was reluctantly dragging her feet. Again, how could he tell that from footsteps? The footsteps stopped, only to be followed by the sound of three separate doors slamming shut, several times in a row. Puck winced. Wow, was Sabrina angry. He shook himself. Again, he didn't care. Much.

At that moment, a pixie flew up to him with a report. They had found a weak spot. The girls' window was able to be unlocked from the inside. Puck grinned evilly. He knew just what to do.

Puck sneaked to the forest outside of the girls' window and climbed one of the many trees there. He then started to play a shrill high note. Sabrina looked out of the window right at him. After almost falling out of the tree and catching himself, he switched to the branch behind the trunk. Upside? she couldn't see him. Downside? He couldn't see the window unless he tilted his head at an angle that made it only just possible to play the flute. But he proceeded to do just that. What came next would be too precious, and hilarious to miss.

The first of the pixies approached the window, on orders and curious. The girls' eyes grew wide. As two more pixies joined the first, they started to dance. The girls watched, awestruck. With one more toot of the flute (A/N: Hey- that rhymes!), all the rest of Puck's minions joined the dance. Entranced, Sabrina's hand drifted upwards toward the latch. She undid it and just as she opened the window- CRASH! The door to the girls' room burst open and the Wolf slammed the window so hard that the glass shuddered. The pixies bumped into the glass a couple more times before Puck stopped playing his instrument. Stupid wolf. Ruined everything.

A/N: Sorry this is so short. Sorry it has taken me so long to update. I was busy. And on a computer ban. Lots of Sorrys (sorries?). But thank you to all those who reviewed my last chapter...

Jelly Babes TheWorldBookGirlPuckabrina 4evers and evers Jack SilvermanThe Queen of Valencia Torgue CloverThyneSlytherin-Pride0608 Sam-I-Am-Green-Eggs-And-Ham (your review made me laugh)

You guys are so awesome you got shout-outs.

Review and you will get a shout out!

Bye bye.

K


	4. Blue Salt

**Yeah... Hi guys.**

**DON'T HATE ME!**

**I don't even have an excuse anymore. I am just seriously pathetic.**

**Anyways...**

**My update status may be the same as Michael Buckley, but trust me I am NOT him.**

**You see, I, unlike him, am what as known as 'female.' I know. Strange concept.**

**We don't even have the same initials! I have no Ms, Bs, Us or Ys in any of my names. The other ones... maybe just a little...**

**But on with the story! (Warning: I'm a little rusty)**

Chapter Four: Puck's POV

Puck stayed in the tree stared at the house for hours upon hours.

Kind of.

Almost.

He definitely stayed in the tree. No one could argue that.

And he was totally looking at the house.

It just looked better when his eyes were closed.

Puck wasn't asleep.

Not even a little bit.

He wasn't dreaming of a land where his father loved him and he had an unlimited supply of vanilla and chocolate ice cream, while he pranced through fields of green gloppy goo all day long.

And he didn't almost fall out of the oak again when he heard the stern command coming from right beneath him, a sharp order to "Go away, Elvis!"

As Puck pulled himself back into the oak tree as quietly as he could, he realized what must have happened.

Those evil girls had developed stealth powers. It was a mystery how they had managed to accomplish this, but they had somehow done it. That was the only explanation. Using their new found abilities, they had gotten out of the house, across the yard and underneath his tree, all without disturbing a single blade of grass, without cracking a single stick, without breathing so much as a whisper.

While the older one, the blonde, Sabrina, tried to get the dog to go home, and the younger one, Daphne, showered the mutt with kisses and love (Puck shuddered at the thought of all of that touchy-feely stuff), the Trickster King flew as silently as he could deeper into the forest.

Alighting on the branch of a birch tree, Puck turned to his minions and hissed, "Why didn't you alert me to the presence of these, these, these females?"

His minions protested that they assumed that his mightiness had noticed the abominations, as his awesomeness was unprecedented, and how could he expect mere pixies, such as themselves, to be aware of the fact that he, the amazing Puck, had not seen the girls? They had assumed that the girls position would have been obvious to one as great as he.

Puck basked in the attention for a moment, then turned a stern glare on the pixies, scolding them for not alerting him of the grave situation in time.

The pixies acted properly abashed.

The boy pulled out his flute and blew out another piercing high note. Hearing this, the pixies jumped to attention and flew towards the girls, eager to please their master once again.

As the first of the pixies approached the invaders, Puck heard Sabrina say clearly, "Look, Daphne. Here's the big menacing invader Mr. Skin-and-Bones was afraid would get into the house."

Puck snickered softly to himself. She was more stupid than he thought.

Moments later he heard the soft cry of "Ouch!"

He smirked. The plan was working!

"Cover your face with your hands and run!"

Puck's smirk diminished a little. What if someone got hurt? Pixie stings could be really painful. He didn't even know these girls.

He quickly wiped that thought out of his brain. The demons had it coming to them. They were stealing the old lady.

As if his thoughts had called her up, he suddenly heard her voice. "It's OK liebling."

Puck's smile was almost completely gone now. Why was this a good idea again? Oh yeah. The girls were stealing away the old lady. The girls were stealing away the old lady. The girls were stealing away the old lady.

Suddenly the pixies came rushing back towards him, babbling about blue salt, and how it was very, very harmful. They were so worked up they didn't even use flowery language.

Puck ignored them.  
>The girls were stealing away the old lady. The girls were stealing away the old lady. The girls were stealing away the old lady.<p>

**I thank every one who has reviewed chapter 3...  
>CloverThyne, SugarHightQueen44, Jelly Babes 101 (yes, Google translate was used), DaughterofPersephone (OK, OK! I am!), mitaya lapierre, Scarlet Wolf (many differant ones. Many differant ones.), The Queen of Valencia Torgue, MysticTune, and Evil Scrapbooker JW13.<strong>

**Y'all are mucho gravy.**

**Now please press the magic blue button! Who ever gives the longest review gets a shout out at the TOP of the page! (And many virtual cookies... You know you want them- they're chocolate chip!)**


	5. Failed Persuasion

**Hiyas! (As in multiple Hi(!)'s Not Karate) The longest review for my last chapter (as promised in my lovely A/N at the bottom) was ... **drumroll, please**... Epiphany On Toast**

**And I wouldn't have updated so quickly if not for dontcrossmeX.**

**Yay! Yay! You guys win! **

**...**  
><strong> To share a random poem (by Shel Silverstein) with you (because it is amazingsicle)...<strong>

**If you add a sicle to your pop**  
><strong>Would he become a popsicle?<strong>  
><strong>Would a mop become a mopsicle?<strong>  
><strong>Would a cop become a copsicle?<strong>  
><strong>Would a chop become a chopsicle?<strong>  
><strong>Would a drop become a dropsicle?<strong>  
><strong>Would a hop become a hopsicle?<strong>  
><strong>I guess it's time to stopsicle,<strong>  
><strong>Or is it timesicle to stopsicle?<strong>  
><strong>Heysicle, I can't stopsicle.<strong>  
><strong>Ohsicle, mysicle willsicle Isicle<strong>  
><strong>Havesicle tosicle talksicle<strong>  
><strong>Likesicle thissicle foreversicle-<strong>  
><strong>Huhsicle?<strong>

**Onsicle anothersicle notesicle, Isicle dosicle notsicle ownsicle thesicle Sisterssicle Grimmsicle.**

**Now onsicle to the storysicle. (Good job for all of those who actually read all of that - you just sat through mucho nonsense)**

Puck's Version - Chapter 5

When Puck woke up the next morning he was curled up on his throne, cuddling Kraven the Deceiver, his terribly frighting stuffed unicorn.

He looked exceptionally regal as he sat up - his hair sticking up on one side, a bit of dried drool on his chin. Puck addressed his minions, complaining ever so majestically to the pixies about how he was "sore all over and absolutely exhausted."

They replied, saying that was what happened when dignified people like himself fell asleep in trees during (as specified by Puck himself) "all important top secret stakeout missions." And if he was so tired, why did he not just go back to sleep?

Ignoring this last jibe, Puck inquired regally (and with ever so amazing grammar), "How come if I fell asleep in a tree, I'm on my throne?"

According his minions, their noble sovereign had fallen out of the tree as he slumbered, not awakening as the pixies caught him, carried him to his throne and lay him down, where he had rested, sleeping fitfully, until morning.

Satisfied, Puck ordered his servants around for a bit, commanding one half to bring him food, and the other half to entertain him. And one half to go spy on the girls some more. The minions could (obviously) be divided into around six different halves.

Waging a prank war on the girls seemed less devious in the sun light. In fact, it seemed completely harmless, beneficial even, for all involved. The girls would have the wonderful pleasure of going back to where they came from, the Old Lady would experience the astounding delight of Puck's presence again, and Puck would get more free food. Really, everyone would win.

The pixies returned, bearing large gifts of delicious pancakes with fizzling pink sauce (which had been deviously stolen at great peril from the front porch of the Grimm house, where they previously sat, freshly steaming, as though they were just waiting for someone to take them) and news. The wolf was coming to speak with their magisterial ruler.

Puck, who had pounced upon the food as soon as it had appeared, stopped in the middle of demolishing his breakfast. One cheek bulging, filled with pancake, he asked, "When's he coming?"

His question was not answered by the minions, but by Mr. Canis himself as he appeared right in front of Puck's throne, as though by magic. Puck jumped, accidentally inhaling some of his food. He had been caught completely _aware_ of the appearance of the man, totaly _anticipating_ his arrival at that moment.

He coughed, and several minions banded together to pat him on the back.

Puck straightened, with an air of convincing _un_-surprise and asked, "What is it that you want?"

The wolf sighed. "Puck, Relda wishes to ask you-"

Puck interrupted Mr. Canis mid sentence. "For my utter forgiveness? Very well, I accept, but on several conditions." He smiled, leaning back on his throne, waiting for the wolf to ask, no to _beg_ for his conditions of forgiveness.

Mr. Canis didn't do that. Instead, he just looked slightly bewildered. "For _your_ forgiveness? What offense has she committed exactly?"

Puck jumped to his feet, shocked. "What offense? What offense! She only willingly brought two outsiders, two adversaries, two evil little girls to Ferryport Landing, two additions that were completely and totally unnecessary for anyone in this town! They are my new archenemies, they are absolutely unacceptable, they are unspeakable, they..."

Panting, he stopped, then drew breath, about to continue his rant. Before he could however, the wolf jumped in. "Two adversaries? Adversaries in what exactly? How exactly are they your "archenemies" when you have never even so much as spoken a word to them before? How have you worked that out, Puck? Please enlighten me."

Puck opened his mouth, then closed it perplexed. He opened it again, then looked down and to the side, muttering something indistinct that sounded similar to "stupid girls, stealing the old lady, all their fault."

Mr. Canis sighed, shaking his head. "Relda wishes me to invite you to lunch sometime, with the girls, and to ask you to stop waging attacks on them. What do you say?"

Puck looked at him, then away. Then back at him. _Would it really be so bad to actually meet the girls? Surely not. But... _Puck leaped into the air, and suddenly shouted, "No! The girls are not welcome here! I will not, will not, WILL NOT meet them, I will not speak to them, I will not stop waging attacks on them! So there!" He flew away, fuming.

The Wolf looked slightly disappointed, but he nodded briskly and left, grumbling about stupid, stubborn, idiotic fairies.

**I know right? Long chapter for me. And quick update for me. Both of these are sad things. I mean 782 words is long? The disclaimer at the top of the page was itself 165 words long! And updating within two months is short! Terrible thing. Terrible thing.**

**Thanks to all those who reviewed, that is dontcrossmeX, FaroreGrimm, EnolaHolmes13, Pale-Face, Krys and Mel, and The Queen of Valencia Torgue. **

**Next chapter's review challenge:**  
><strong>Whoever can write down the best poem in their review gets a top of the page shout out.<strong>

**I LOVE CHOCOLATE!**

**Bye bye!**  
><strong>K<strong>


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